“Doing good, thank you and how about you?”
“What else is new?”
“Nothing much, and you??..”
“Same ol same ol..”
Have you ever had such conversations…or lack of it??
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you find your mind racing at a 1000 miles an hour, trying to come up with the next thing to say and the best thing you can come up with is..
“How is your husband doing?”
Nasty glare accompanied with ” I don’t know!..we got divorced a month back”..
Perfect I say..AWKWARD just assumed a new height and definition..
I have had plenty of conversations where words are few and each one of those is punctuated by a lot of “so” and “hmmmmm” and “cool” and “nice”. This goes on till one of us comes up with a polite excuse to disappear. The excuses lack innovation and are usually the usual “I think I just heard someone calling me” “I think I need a trip to the restroom” or “I need to make a call”….ughhhh! you know what those excuses mean right?? Trust me one can hold their calls and pee for fairly long if the conversation is interesting..
I always tried to hide my lack of conversation skills under the garb of being shy and an introvert..excuses excuses..just a way to try and fool myself..
Making conversation is an art – to some it comes naturally and some of us need to learn it.
Here is my experience and experiments with the art of conversation..
1. Compliment people : this one always works like a charm provided the compliment is genuine. Look carefully, there will always be something about a person that strikes you and that you like. Maybe the hair, the shoes, the dress, the smile, the eyes…look carefully, observe. It helps the person let their guard down and the rest of the conversation flows easily.
2. Listen : This is something, I am still working on. I think I am a good listener, but often I find myself drifting and thinking about what I want to say next, instead of listening carefully and being 100% in the present moment.
3. Ask questions : Once you know what the person likes, ask questions, let them know that you are interested in them. For example, If it comes up that the person has kids…(everyone loves talking about their kids) ask them how old they are, school, hobbies…etc
If you find out that the pretty dress she is wearing is from a recent trip to Greece..ask questions about the trip, the shopping there, the food there..do you travel often? etc
These are the 3 things that have helped me better my conversation making skills…
Let me know what helps you..
And yes, a warm and genuine SMILE, ALWAYS makes even the most awkward situations better.
Oh! and this outfit..simple easy and casual..leggings and a shirt, a dupatta and some accessories.
Remember the no denims summer experiment?? So I am experimenting with leggings, skirts and more..